


Easier

by ShadeOfAzmeinya



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fake AH Crew, Fem Jack, Multi, Past Kidnapping, Past Torture, RageHappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 15:53:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7469712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeOfAzmeinya/pseuds/ShadeOfAzmeinya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you not care about us anymore?” Ray said so desperately, so heart-brokenly.<br/>He should just say he didn’t. Cut off ties here. Make it so easy.</p><p>When someone gets hurt so early in their relationship, Ryan grows scared and does what he does whenever he recognizes a terrifying situation for him; he runs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Easier

**Author's Note:**

> Had this headcanon for a while and just had to write it out. Hope you enjoy!

The sun was just starting to peak above the horizon by the time they got Michael back. Bruised, bloody, and burned but alive.

Ryan was the one to carry him back inside the penthouse. Caleb had just finished patching him up, most of the wounds being only superficial. The torturer was only aiming for pain after all. Michael was still passed out, as he has been most of the time since they’ve rescued him.

Ryan carefully laid Michael in the large bed of the master bedroom. The rest of the crew was hovering nearby in various states of disarray. Ryan looked around at all their faces, mixes of relief, sorrow, and anger flashing across their features as they watched Michael’s breathing; lungs still working, body still alive.

It wasn’t the first time one of them has been kidnapped. Wasn’t the first time one of them have endured torture. But it was the first time since they’ve all been together.

The first time they’ve been forced to watch.

Ryan couldn’t stand to be in the room anymore. Couldn’t stand to look at Michael and have the image of him screaming, screaming in pain as he was cut, burned, and beat. The videos replayed all in Ryan’s head. Videos sent to them of Michael getting hurt over and over. The torturer, a man named Edgar, laughed as he told them to give in or else he’ll hurt Michael even more. More bruises lining his freckled face, more cuts ripping his torso, more burns against his pale skin. Ryan was glad the man who did this to one that he loved now had a bullet through him skull, ripping off that smug grin.

Ryan pulled his black skull mask off as he entered the bathroom of the penthouse and avoided his reflection in the mirror. He knew he’d only see his drained eyes and exhausted features. He splashed some cold water on his face to try to gain some semblance of calm. But he couldn’t stop the buzzing in his veins.

It had been close. They had found Michael just in time. Just before it was going to go too far and Michael was never coming back to them. Ryan couldn’t shake the terror of seeing Michael’s body in the chair and for a second thinking he wasn’t alive, that they lost their fireball forever.

And it was all his fault.

Ryan was too close. He had gotten too close to these people, he decided. Before the crew Ryan never would’ve imagined of being this close to one person let alone five people. He lived alone as the Vagabond, deciding attachment wasn’t worth it. He’s seen so much death. So many loved ones left behind. He never thought he could do it. But the Fake AH Crew were a stubborn bunch, forcing their ways through the cracks in the walls Ryan had so carefully constructed around himself. And he didn’t mind. He found himself falling in love with each and everyone one of them. 

He fell into the delusion that they could all do this. That he could do this. They’d all forgotten that this life that they’ve made for themselves is a dangerous one and they’re all so close to death. Any time they go out could be their last.

His biggest mistake was forgotten his own enemies. Those who would do anything to watch him and his crew burn.

Falling in love with them was a bad lapse of judgment. Now his love for them could be used against him and he hated it. He hated himself for getting too close, hated himself for causing the others to get hurt. Hated that his delusional ass didn’t see this coming.

By the time Ryan could bring himself to leave the bathroom, most of the others were making their way to bed. Everyone was staying with Michael, each feeling protective over their broken lover. Ryan hesitated to put his mask back on, but threw it at the ground instead. Despite all it’s protection he was starting to hate the think. He opened the bathroom door and walked out, leaving it behind. Jack spotted Ryan as she made her way through the hallway.

“You coming?” Jack asked softly, gesturing towards the bedroom.

Ryan shook his head. “I can’t sleep. Not now…”

Jack nodded and gave Ryan’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Try to sleep a little at least. It’s been a long day for all of us.”

Ryan watched Jack head into the master bedroom and sighed. There was no sleep coming for Ryan any time soon. He made his way to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. He held the chilled glass in his hand, glancing outside to the city just starting to stretch awake as the sun rose higher.

Ryan wasn’t sure how long he stood there, staring at the world going on its usual business, but eventually he decided he should try to sleep. But he couldn’t face everyone back in the bedroom just yet.

He took up the couch, closing his eyes and willing himself to sleep. He think he dozed off a few times, but sleep wasn’t sticking. He’d keep seeing Edgar’s ugly sneer as he demanded for the Vagabond. Kept seeing Michael’s pained face every time Edgar hurt him when the crew refused to deliver the Vagabond to him. Michael’s glassed over eyes as Ryan ran with him in his arms out of the building he was kept in.

He shouldn’t be with the crew. He shouldn’t be together with all of them. He had too many enemies, too many demons that would try to hurt them. It would be better if he wasn’t here.

He could leave.

The thought came suddenly. Ryan sat up, feeling more awake as the thought took over. He could leave. He could separate himself from the crew. They couldn’t be used against him ever again. He could detach himself from all feelings again, focus on just himself surviving again. He wouldn’t have to get hurt. He wouldn’t have to feel that pure terror at the thought of someone he loved getting hurt again.

He was going to leave. Now. 

He quickly jumped into action, grabbing a duffle bag and throwing a bunch of clothes and things he’ll need into it. He goes on Gavin’s computer and buys himself a plane ticket for the first flight out and heads towards the front door.

He hesitates a moment at the door handle. He glances back at the penthouse, his home. Was his home. He couldn’t stay here anymore. He had to leave. For them. For himself. He took a deep breath, opened the door, and slipped out.

 

* * *

 

Surprisingly it was Michael awake first. Probably because he had slept so much while drugged out and being patched up. He blinked awake, eyes on the familiar ceiling of the bedroom. He looked around and gave a soft smile, seeing everyone curled around him sleeping. They must be exhausted, he thought. None of them could’ve gotten much sleep the entire time he was held by that ugly motherfucker Edgar.

Michael noticed that one of his lovers was missing and his felt a ping of concern. Was Ryan still up or something? Michael sighed and tried to sit up, only causing a grunt of pain. Bad idea, still hurting everywhere.

None of the others had woken up to that though, and Michael very carefully and very slowly made his way out of the bed and into the kitchen. There Michael found some pain meds Caleb had given them and quickly swallowed some. He looked around, wondering if where Ryan was. So he started walking through the whole house.

Michael felt concern bubble up as he couldn’t find Ryan anywhere. Was he out somewhere? Where would he have gone?

But then he found Ryan’s phone, abandoned in his room, and Ryan’s mask, and he grew worried. Geoff was always on about anyone leaving a phone behind. They need to be able to get a hold of anyone at any time. Ryan never leaves his phone. And even more rarely leaves his mask behind. 

Michael picked up the phone and mask and headed back to the bedroom to wake the others.

 

* * *

 

 

No one knew where Ryan was.

That was the first thing established as Michael woke everyone up, showing them the phone and mask, and asking where Ryan was. The crew was sent into frenzy, resulting in the penthouse being searched again, the garage searched, and even the weapons hold thoroughly walked through. During the search it was also discovered that a large portion of Ryan’s stuff was missing, which was already small in the first place. No one noticed him leaving and no one knew where he was. And they were terrified.

“I’m going to fucking kick his ass when we find him,” Geoff grumbled to the group as they gathered in the “meeting room” which really was just the family room around the coffee table.

“He could just be out on a run or something,” Ray said. “We might be freaking out for no reason.”

“He wouldn’t have left his phone behind,” Jack said. “He never leaves it behind, he knows not to. Especially after everything…”

“Also his stuffs missing! Ryan ran away! The fucking coward just left us!” Michael yells. He winced as his yelling strains on his injuries and Jack was soon right next to him, looking over his injuries.

“Please don’t pull any stitches or anything,” she said. “You need to heal.”

“Fuck that,” Michael snapped. “We need to find Ryan, he can’t just run away!”

“I know where he is,” Gavin piped up over his laptop. Gavin went right to the laptop right after their boyfriend was discovered missing and this was the first time he was looking away. “Or rather where he’s going. He bought plane tickets to Spain.”

All their heads snapped to face Gavin.

“Is he on the plane now?” Geoff asked.

“No, it doesn’t leave for a few more hours.”

“Lets go,” Geoff said, jumping up and heading towards the door. The others all followed him.

“Expect you,” Geoff said pointing to Michael. “You need to stay here and heal up.”

“I’m not sitting by for this! Ryan’s my boyfriend too and I’m going to see him!” Michael yelled.

“You’re too hurt to be walking around,” Jack said, cautious of the boy’s anger.

“I don’t give a fuck! If you leave I’ll just follow in my own car, so let me go!”

Geoff sighed, knowing the stubborn asshole would do just that. “Fine, you can go. But be fucking careful alright? We don’t need you hurt again.”

Michael smiled and followed the others out.

 

* * *

 

Ryan had been sitting in his car for an hour, staring out at the airport. He had gotten this far, but still couldn’t bring himself to leave. He knew he needed to. But he still had time before his plane left. As long as he still had time he was just going to sit here, chewing on his decision.

He was going to miss here. He was going to miss them. It hurt so much to imagine leaving them. They’ll be mad, he knows. They’ll be angry, but then they’ll see that it’s for the best. It was too dangerous for him to be around them. Someone else will get hurt. Someone could die. The last day was an example enough. They all deserved someone better. Someone who could actually protect them instead of attracting those to hurt them.

He sighed and rested his head on the steering wheel. He should go. He should just get this over with. Move on. He wiped his eyes, blinking back the tears that were forming. He grabbed his bag and headed out of the car. He paused a second outside, wondering what to do with his car. Then he set the keys inside, whoever found it first could have it. He doesn’t care anymore.

He shrugged his bag on his shoulder and started walking to the airport.

“Ryan!”

Ryan froze where he stood. Please no. Please let it not be them. He wanted this to be easier. He couldn’t face them. Not like this. Not now. Not after-

“RYAN!”

Ryan took a deep breath and turned around. They all were there, running towards him. Why did they have to find him.

He turned back around and started to run.

He didn’t make it that far before he was being tackled and forced to the ground. Ryan whipped around to shove off whoever it was, only to have Gavin grab hold of his shoulders and force him to stay down.

“What the _fuck_ are you doing?!” Gavin yelled at his face. Ryan stopped struggling, not expecting the swear to come out of him. Gavin so rarely swore.

“Leaving, what does it look like,” Ryan snapped once he regained himself, voice cold and heartless.

Gavin’s mouth opened in shock at Ryan’s tone. Ryan was never that cold with them. Not anymore. Ryan was able to throw Gavin off of him in his shock and stand up. By now the others had all caught up. 

“Leaving?!” Geoff yelled. “You’re fucking leaving us? Just like that? You fucking coward! You can’t even face us and tell us?!”

“No,” Ryan snarled.

“Fuck you!” Michael snapped. Ryan turned to face him, his hard expression slipping into something much softer at the injured lad. But Ryan shook it off. Michael was his fault and why he needed to leave. No being soft now. Make it easier for everyone. Just let them hate him.

Hate was easier than love.

“Why are you doing this?” Jack said. Ryan refused to face her.

“Its better this way,” Ryan said.

“Do you not care about us anymore?” Ray said so desperately, so heart-brokenly. Despite Ryan’s better judgment he looked over at him to see him looking so lost, so sad. 

“I-“ Ryan’s voice caught in his throat. He should just say he didn’t. Cut off ties here. Make it so easy. But he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t because he does care. He loves them so fucking much. “I have to go.” 

“WHY?” Gavin screamed at him, grabbing his shoulders. Gavin’s eyes glinted with tears. Ryan shook him off before his own tears threatened to form. “Stop dodging the bloody questions and tell us what’s going on!”

“We deserve to know asshole,” Geoff added.

“I’m…” Ryan started. He looked to the ground and took a deep breath. “It’s easier.”

“Easier than what? Its easier to leave us then stay?” Geoff said. 

“Yes… No… I don’t know!” Ryan threw his arms up in frustration. Just let me go, he thought. 

“Well start knowing!” Geoff said.

“I can’t stand to see you get hurt!” Ryan said, glancing over at Michael in all his bandages and leaning against Jack. “I can’t… Not because of me.”

“Ryan Fucking Haywood, you listen to me,” Jack said, her voice rising in a way rarely heard out of her. “What happened was not your fault. That fucker tried to use who you cared about to get to you, to get to all of us. That’s on him not you.”

“Don’t forget you saved me,” Michael added. “I saw how many guys you took out to get to me. How well do you think the rescue mission would’ve gone without you?”

“Ryan don’t leave us like this,” Ray said. The boy had never seemed so small before.

Ryan turned away from them all, blinking back tears. “I don’t want to see any of you get hurt…" 

“And you think we can?” Geoff said, grabbing Ryan’s arm and forcing him to look at him. “You think it doesn’t tear the rest of up as well? You think I’m not terrified too whenever someone gets hurt? Well I’m not running away. And you shouldn’t either. We need you here. With us.”

Geoff grabbed either side of Ryan’s face, locking eyes. “Please don’t leave.”

Ryan took a deep breath and looked around at the rest of the group. They all stared at him, desperate expression on their faces. Ryan knew he could still leave. Could still make this easy. Go back to before. Become the Vagabond again.

But he couldn’t.

“Ok… Ok…” He said.

Geoff let out a sigh of relief and pulled Ryan into a hug. Then Gavin threw his arms around them, letting out a cheer. The others joined in until they were all hugging in the middle of the airport parking lot.

 

* * *

 

Geoff demanded a “stay in all day” day and they all piled into the large bed in the master bedroom. Ryan was forced into the middle, everyone holding desperately close to him. Like any second he could disappear again.

But this time Ryan wasn’t going to leave. Easier be damned. He found five people who loved him and five people he loved. Five people that was worth getting hurt over. He was going to stick with these assholes. For better or worse.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't hesitate to say hi on my tumblr: shadeofazmeinya.tumblr.com !! Endings are the worst so I apologize now for it.
> 
> This fic sponsored by the song 'Turn Up the Faders' by Nathan Asher and the Infantry because thats what I was listening to the entire time. A good angsty Fake AH Crew song.


End file.
